Bass-ackward-itis

Oops, I did it again...

And again...

And again...me, returning to write new pages but revising instead. Over and over again. Even when writing every single day, I look back a few paragraphs...okay, pages, to review the story. Anti-productive, right?

Sigh. And then I was away for a few days. That said, today when I finally sat butt in chair and got back into it, I sort of forgot where I left off, and therefore where I wanted to go, so thinking that reviewing was a good map and starting point, I did. To top it off, over the weekend I had a brilliant notion for the story (okay, so maybe that counts as writing) and I knew where to put it. So today I just had to find where that was. However, while returning to the insertion point I took time to re-read and revise along the way, again.

Stupid, stupid, stupid thing to do. And I can't use being away as my excuse. I always tweak the past, removing a chance of moving the story along (even though today's fixes were brilliant!). I've always returned to re-read, revise, etc. No matter what tricks I come up with to stymie this very bad habit, I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm A CHEATER and do it anyway.

There must be a way of breaking bad habits. Look at those who cold-turkey smoking. True, it's also the healthy thing to do, so maybe that makes it easier to kick the habit. Perhaps what I lack is will power such as the one needed when attempting to diet. You know, that bowl of M&M's looks very tempting out there in the open like that. Easy solution: put it where I can't see them. This technique has worked. Truth: I have not had one piece of chocolate in two weeks. I am not lying. I put the candy bags where I can't see them. After five days I noticed the difference in my waistline.

If only there was a way of not seeing the words. Funny statement coming from a half-blind person, right? But there they are. All those words. How do I NOT look at them? Does anyone have a special device that covers previously typed brilliance? This inquiring mind NEEDS to know.

Am I the only one who can ignore chocolate when it stares her in the face, but can't stop reading her words? I want to move it along. I need a plan. I need HELP! (Is there an eight-hundred number for this?)

'Tis What It Is.

Today I said, "I don't care!" And I don't. My new attitude for writing is that if I feel the spirit then I will seek publication, but in the meantime I'll write because I just like doing it.

You know, too many authors/writers sit down and gnaw their fingernails with the hope that they'll cough up a brilliant best seller. I used to think that way, too. And then it began. Insults from other writers (not meant to be, but to me they were). "Not buying that," one person said regarding my particular story line. Another said, "You're writing is very passive." Not sure if she meant passive in a grammatical sort of way, or passive as in not much happening here.

But still, the point is it all affected my personal style. Soon I grasped for ideas that were new and different, ones that might sell, be numero uno on the best seller's list. No more of that complete crappy way of thinking. Counter productive. Nothing against those who write for their career, for me though it's about the art and not so much about the publishing end game. Better to write for me and remain happy than write for the masses and let suicide creep into my next piece.

Killer piece of works not for me. Not so much. Beauty for me.

I think I'm a great writer - maybe the greatest to ever push a pen. That's all that matters, really. The rest is just gravy, or fodder, depending on your point of view. Point of view - so subjective; so misunderstood.