Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Real Time With Kath a/k/a The Babblings of an Inaugural Play by Play Wannabe

I was replying to emails while watching the inauguration today, from 10:00 a.m. and still going strong (watching, that is). Not realizing it, one of my emails became a "real-time" transcription of the events leading up to, and including, the inauguration. This happened while replying to an email from Marcia Colette. It's upon her suggestion that I post it here.

I call it "Kath's Unconscious Inaugural Play-By-Play"

Maybe I should trade my kid for your rabbit. Great idea, right?

So here I am glued to the tv since after my workout. I've turned my cell phone on silent in order to limit risks of craziness. I hope you have a way of watching the inauguration ceremonies. It's very moving, as if I need another day of tears. At least these are of pride and not stress.

Wow, they've just said that Jill Biden wants to teach at a local community college in the DC area. I didn't realize she had a PhD. How cool is that?

I don't beleive I've ever watched the inauguration before. Maybe I did when JFK was sworn in. WHOA, there I go showing my age. I was in second grade and tv's were in black and white. That certainly would have been a loss for today's festivities. Michelle O is wearing a lucious gold coat suit. Stunning!

And here comes GW. Cheney is in a wheelchair. Is it any surprise that the guy who shoots people in the face puts his back out the day before the inauguration? Moron.

And heeeere's Big Joe B! Good lookin' dude, but then I have a thing for older guys with brains. The crowd explodes! I suppose you heard about the Oprah show debacle. Jill dropped the news that Joe had a choice between VP and Secretary of State. Hilarious!

Last but never least, the man of the hour approaches the doors to his future. I don't know about you, but I'll bet he'll be happy to drop the "President Elect" moniker. That's a mouthful. The suspense is killing the crowd. It's like waiting for the first pitch of the world series. Will he make it to the plate? Although, Barack is more a basketball dude than baseball. FINALLY! There he is! The crowd goes wild and looks alot like the first Woodstock, minus the LSD. The dude is a rock star in his own right. People are chanting his name! (I don't see Oprah. What's up with that?)

Now I realize that the last inauguration I watched WAS JFK's. I recall the top hats. He wore none. Did I mention I was in diapers at the time? lol

I have never seen so many people gathered in one place (other than Woodstock). No one can dispute that this is THE PARTY of the ages.

So now the woman in charge of inauguration is talking. She says, "Blah, blah, blah..." Good speech, lousy hairstyle, she has one of those flippy side-bangs going on. And now the controvercial Rick Warren, Pastor of the saddleback church (huh). They should have gotten the pope, or Jessie Jackson. lol. This Warren guy just doesn't cut it.

Hey, at least they got some great musical acts. And who can dispute Aretha on the BIG PARTY stage? Not me. No matter how old, she still has the pipes. I think I saw her in the crowd earlier - she wore a crazy hat with a whirly looking thing on the front. Maybe that wasn't her - I got imagine the Queen of Soul wearing a hat from hell.

Other than the cold day, the sun shines in DC. How appropo. All flights in the area must have been put on hold. There's not one single jet engine, which is a good thing because you know some flock of wild geese would choose then to fly into the engie of a 747. Imagine a crash landing on the Potomoc during the high moments.

WHOA Here's Aretha. Let's see if she was....YES! She's wearing the hat from hell! This is a WTF moment. Aretha, who dressed you today? The whirly thing is actually a giant diamond studded bow. Hell, it's, it's, it's just too weird for words. But, at least she wore a hat. It's 28 there. Unfortunately, the music is piped. So much for the Woodstock feeling. Where's Jimmi H when ya need him, huh? Some National Anthem on his stratocaster would be nice right now. But still, a huge honor. No one asked you or I do sing.

Oh, here comes the Oath of Office... (gotmy Kleenex ready - maybe I'm pregnant?)

Big Joe is up first... Nice looking tan, Joe. His wife is hot.

It's official. He's now VP Big Joe.

I wonder when Yo Yo Ma will play?

Whoa, here they are. Yo Yo, Izhtak and company. I love Yo Yo. This is spectacular. I hope I can download this on ITunes. Chris Botti would have been a nice addition. I still have to send you that CD.

Geeze, my dog wants to go out! Not now LOLA! Hold it if you can. (I see a clean up in Aisle One coming...)

And now, without out further adieu, Chief Justice what's his name, give the oath of office.

Oh gosh, he's stuttering (Barack). I think he's nervous, lol. How human is that?

And the crowd goes WILD! Somewhere there's cannons firing. Could be a flock of wild geese flying over. And now the crowd acts like it's Woodstock INCLUDING the LSD. Seriously, this is HUGE and I hope you are watching it, too.

Nice speech so far. He gives a nod to GW for his work, and his words flow beautifully. Damn, he's got great orator skills.

Eighteen minutes and twenty seconds later, I feel hopeful for everything. And Lola waited to bug me for release to poopy-world. I should sit to hear the poet, but Lola seems insistent. Can I hold her off for just a small bit?

The poem's theme: Hope. Of course. And promise for better. I need to download this one.

So here you have it, the inauguration in real time from my point of view. I sit awestruck over the unity that's stayed behind barriers for too long.

Love ya until I'm invited by Obama to write his next inaugural play-by-play,

So there you have it. I never read it before hitting "send", nor have I during the "copy/paste" session. I hope no one falls asleep while reading, but if so, hope the nap was enjoyable.


Anonymous said...

LOLOLOLOL!! Reading that a second time made it all the more funnier.

Oh, and yeah! I had no idea the Second Lady had a PhD. I think that's awesome. One of the news reporters said something like "We need to start calling her doctor."

And if it's any consolation, the last inauguration my mother cared about watching was JFK's, too. Her hope for a better world had died with him...until now.

Kath Calarco said...

At the risk of sounding like that old fool aunt that everyone hates inviting to Sunday dinner, I can remember JFK's assassination like it was yesterday: Fourth grade, Mrs. Zioli's classroom, second floor, the windows faced westward. The announcement came and we all rested our heads on our desks to pray.

The better world is now here, albeit forty-five years later. (Yikes, there I go showing my age again, dang-it!)

Edie said...

Love your play-by-play! It's the first inauguration I've ever watched. I picked the best!

Liz Kreger said...

It was a great inauguration ... however, I missed the best part. One of the attorneys brought in a little television and we were all watching it. However, I had to leave for a doctor's appointment literally minutes before Obama was sworn in. Dang! However, I saw the reruns on the news and managed to tune into his speech on the radio as I was driving to my appointment.

Personally, I LOVED Aretha's hat. LOL. That is soooo Aretha.

Kath Calarco said...

Thanks, Edie! I like transcribing (which is what I did in my former slavedom to attorneys).

Kath Calarco said...

Liz, sounds like your doctor's appointment was worth more than watching the oath of office. ;)

I'm still confused about Aretha's hat. As couture as it looked, it was sort of a WHOA moment seeing it on the Queen of Soul, lol. But by wearing a hat showed her R-E-S-P-E-C-T for the formal occasion that it was. I wonder if she goes to the Kentucky Derby?

Hey, you work for attorneys? My heart goes out to you, hon. I did that in a former life, and now I'm married to one. But, at least they brought in a tv for you all. My hubby didn't do that for his peeps.

Robin said...

This was fabulous! I watched yesterday (got totally teary eyed), and getting to read this was like living it all over again! But through your perspective (you are so funny - way funnier than me), which made it all the better. You should somehow keep this as a sidebar so we can relive it throughout the year. :) Awesome post! (And I love your dog's name.)

Kath Calarco said...

You are too sweet, Binks. I didn't think anyone was funnier than you - that's a huge compliment.

I'll try sticking this at the side-bar. I have to find better templates for blogger. They're all so limiting.

spyscribbler said...

Hah! I love this!

He is an amazing orator. I love it. He not only believes in the power of words, but he uses them wisely. And their power is totally working for him!

Kath Calarco said...

Thanks, Spy. I agree. He's a powerful speaker and very wise. The guy realizes his drawbacks, yet makes sure he has the right people in his circle making up for them.

Zoe Winters said...

hahaha that was an awesome play by play. I agree that Obama is like a rock star.

Kath Calarco said...

Zoe, good to see you!

Obama is like no other. And I don't believe I'll ever see another like him in my life-time.