Wednesday, September 1, 2010


My stomach shouldn't have to swallow my heart so early in the day. But after reading the newspaper and then sitting down to devour my favorite blogs, I'm left with that queasy feeling one gets right after hearing that they need a root canal.

Except root canals are necessary. They are something out of control and one has to suck it up and take it. Reading the news and blogs are a different beast. I am in control of how they make me feel.

But some days their content is just so unbelievable that my moral compass spins. Ignorance and corruption. Ridicule and deceit. Ignorance under the guise of liberal. Indeed.

Change is good, I keep telling myself. That without it there is no growth. But when the changes involve shifting truths near and dear to my heart, it's time to step back and, well, cry. It's not the growth I'm looking for. In fact, it's the type of growth that starts with just one microscopic bacteria, innocuous at first until left to its own device. And then it grows beyond a cure. It has found a way to defeat any and all antibiotics.

It's an evil too big for the good to fight. It kills the spirit before it has a chance to fly. The end of hope, the robber of innocence.

Not how I want to begin the day, and perhaps by its end I'll have seen a tiny ray of light that beckons me from the darkness. But for now it has a leg up and I feel beyond its control.


Travis Erwin said...

Man. I hope it wasn't my blog that sent you reeling.

Mary said...

Holy cow! I hope whatever this is doesn't keep you down.

Kath Calarco said...

Travis, now I'll have to go read your blog. lol. But no, not you. Just a day of reckoning. So many changes in worlds that I held dear.

But I'm good now. :)

Kath Calarco said...

Thanks, Mary. I'm good, just had to purge some nonsense from my universe is all. And I did. All good now.

Lainey said...

Sorry your day started so badly. :(

I'm pretty Blogphobic at the moment, myself.

Kath Calarco said...

Guess I'm preaching to the choir, huh, Lainey. ;-) Just another breakdown in paradise.