Un-reality TV Redux

Does this picture look anything like John McCain? If you think it does, then either you're eyesight is worse than mine or you weren't born during the Jurassic age.

To the left is actor James Garner, star of the TV show "Maverick" which ran from (gulp) 1957 to 1962.

Sarah, my dear, I hate to burst your effervescent bee-hive, but there was only one Maverick, and he sure as hell isn't John McCain. If you said it once (which was plenty) you said it five thousand times. But I'm not surprised. It must have been hard to remember all your lines.

And that's why some think Sarah Palin did a stellar job. She proved to be a wizard at memorization, but did that also prove that she possesses the knowledge and understanding to back it up?

Of course not. When she couldn't come up with an answer, she resorted to back-pedaling. And when that didn't work, she spoke of her illustrious career as mayor of Wasilla and governor of Alaska. Let's not forget her "folksy" charm. Was it necessary to wink at the TV audience? Was she trying to impress us with her beauty pageant poise? Seriously, if I want to see those antics, I'll tune into TV Land for the Beverly Hillbillies Marathon. Gosh darn right I will.

Way to show her statesmanship. Treating the debates like she was vying for Miss Alaska just didn't endear her to my heart.

Nothing against the woman. I'm sure she's a real charmer at all the cocktail parties. I just wouldn't invite her to any of mine. There's something evil about a person who refers to gay as "choosing" to be so.

Admitting that she only had five weeks to get up to speed as the V.P. candidate, topped off with whining that she's not a "Washington insider" only further proved how under qualified she is.

This woman has hardly ventured outside of Wasilla, except for occasional moose hunts. This is not "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington." Has she ever seen a city after all its industries closed because all the jobs went outside of the country. Has she heard of Detroit? I wonder if she's ever driven through an intersection of Wasilla and had her windshield washed by a homeless dude?

Has she ever seen a homeless dude? Has McCain the Maverick?

If McCain were truly a "maverick" he never would have bowed to the pressures of the party and picked Sarah Palin. This is a man who survived the Hanoi Hilton. Surely he could stand up to a few Republican blow-hards.

Sorry to burst your bee-hive, Sarah, but your Maverick has done been gelded, by golly.

In summary, the debate proved once again that Joe Biden is a gentleman, a scholar, and most of all, in touch with the human condition.

Un-reality TV

There's only one TV show I've looked forward to more than the new season of "Dexter": Tonight's Vice Presidential debate. I call it "Unreal Reality TV."

This will be the train wreck to beat all, and I'll be front and center for the sublime. My prediction is that Sarah Palin will either speak while Joe Biden still is, or forget well rehearsed answers because she'll be too worried about trying to remember them all.

I've wondered if the Republicans had a specialist sit up with her cramming on foreign policy, the economy, how to pronounce "Iran," and most importantly, how not to look like a frightened moose in the cross-hairs. Let's face it. She wasn't prepared for Charlie Gibson or Katie Couric. Unless she's secretly miked, I can't imagine her keeping up with all she's had to learn.

Cramming never works. Only crib-sheets do. And since this is to be televised in real time, there's no chance for the dubbing in of answers later by someone in the editing booth. And I really doubt her palms are big enough to have written all the knowledge she lacks.

And that's the point everyone enthralled with her, both male and female, seems to miss. She didn't have an "A" game to bring when accepting the invitation to run with J. Mac. All she possessed was an ego that wouldn't allow her to say "no." Being a mayor of Wasilla, population 7,000, and governor of Alaska, population 650,000, is not a credential. It's just dabbling in small politics. A blip on the radar, not the experience necessary to be number two, and without the necessary experience and knowledge, then the country will literally be number two if she's called into action.

It's like being asked to pilot a 747 when you only have a drivers license. Would you say, "Hell, yeah. I can do that - straight to Uranus and back! Last night I slept at a Holiday Inn?" Wouldn't you consider the passengers' safety? Would you risk innocent bystanders just for a shot at the impossible?

Sure, she's a woman, so every member of that sex should be grateful that she's been chosen to run along side Grampa Munster. Hello? I am woman, hear me roar, "Hell no!" To me a self-respecting leader would recognize their potential and lack thereof. A self-respecting woman knows her limitations and doesn't sacrifice the greater good just to satisfy her ego.

So tonight I'll be front and center for the sublime abomination known as the "Sarah Palin Ego Stroke." If this is the ticket that wins in November, then I hope Canada has room for an increase in population.

Get your exit strategy ready, learn "O Canada", or load up on the Prozac. The J. Mac-Palin Ego show will be the beginning of the end of America as we know it.